


I Love(d) You To Death

by watercolorwoman



Series: Chronostasis [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Firsts, Implied Sexual Content, One Shot, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26989198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watercolorwoman/pseuds/watercolorwoman
Summary: Following several steps in ensuring all the Phantom Thieves but one were away from their base at the beach, he confessed. It was short, it was sweet, and he hoped he wouldn’t be rejected. Much to his surprise, she felt the same way. It was perfect, and he was happy to finally have her.And that’s how the movies end.But Akira isn’t the protagonist, and he must deal with the consequences of what happens with love when the curtain falls.--A companion one-shot for my Chronostasis series. You don't need to read the other two parts to understand this one-shot.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Kurusu Akira/Takamaki Ann, Kurusu Akira/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi
Series: Chronostasis [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828765
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	I Love(d) You To Death

Akira started to fall for Ann when she first talked to him after he overheard her call to Kamoshida. He wasn’t sure if it was the vulnerability, or the idea that Ann had a genuine heart despite the horrible rumors, but he adored it. There were things he would hear at school, a little before she joined the Phantom Thieves. 

_“Who does Takamaki-san think she is?”_

_“She’s totally banging Kamoshida for a grade.”_

_“Ugh, wish I could get into her skirt!”_

All horrible, disgraceful things. It didn’t make sense, and it surely didn’t add up to the girl he fought side-by-side with. It was obviously friendly, at first. He didn’t realize his feelings were more than platonic until she spared Kamoshida. The strength she needed to spare the life of her abuser was admirable, especially since she did it with the intention of him paying for his crimes. 

So when Kamoshida confessed on that stage, falling to his knees, she yelled. Ann refused to back down, or let him die as punishment. No, she needed him to atone, and it set the stage for many things. For one, it allowed their team to understand that just because they went into a palace and fought its ruler didn’t mean they had to kill them. Two, they watched people confess their crimes because of the mercy they showed, and it made it more worthwhile for the victims.

Three, he really, really liked Ann Takamaki. 

Akira wouldn’t really approach her about it, at least not at first. It took time for him to understand his feelings. On the other hand, Ann needed time as well. He listened closely whenever she talked about Shiho. How she was recovering well in the hospital, learning to walk all over again despite the pain and blood rushing through her legs. Ann’s strong connection should have been a sign back then, especially with how much she talked about her to him, but he didn’t think anything of it at the time. 

All Akira could think about was that he wanted to be there for Ann, no matter what. Eventually, his own emotions got the best of him. He found himself chasing after Yusuke and Ann following a rained-on parade in a small fit of jealousy, leaving Makoto and Ryuji confused in a convenience store downtown and Morgana soaked in his bag. He spent almost all of his free time with her over the summer, just talking and hanging out. There were hints, here and there, that maybe she felt the same as he did. 

Nothing came of it until the beach trip at the end of the summer. He reached for her hand in the back of the car, and she didn’t pull away. She would blush lightly, using her twintails to hide the new color on her face. He took his small emotional frustrations out on Ryuji by saying he was admiring Makoto (which Ryuji likely was, and he knew that), but Ryuji saw right through him. 

Following several steps in ensuring all the Phantom Thieves but one were away from their base at the beach, he confessed. It was short, it was sweet, and he hoped he wouldn’t be rejected. Much to his surprise, she felt the same way. It was perfect, and he was happy to finally have her. 

And that’s how the movies end. 

The romantic comedies he’d see sometimes with Ann would always end with the guy getting the girl, but it never focuses on what happens after. Just because the hero gets the girl, doesn’t mean they last forever. He could see it in reality, both in his social circle and with outsiders on the news. Ryuji’s father was an abusive alcoholic, and Futaba’s father was never even in the picture. There were often stories sometimes playing on the news in LeBlanc, domestic violence cases. It wasn’t often, but he would see them from time to time. Those were the kinds of things he never saw in those sappy movies. 

Maybe if he did, he’d know better. 

Being honest with himself, he knew he was being clingy to her at first. He was just happy to have Ann, and wanted to spend all his time with her. And yet, with the fame of the Phantom Thieves being shoved down their throats, he felt the pressure to interact with his connections around town. It’s why he went from seeing her every chance he got in the Hawaii trip, to avoiding her text messages and calls because he needed to create infiltration tools, get Ohya to write another news story, help Yoshida’s political campaign… The list went on and on and on. There was never a dull moment, and why would there be? He had work to do. As a result, it escalated. In more ways than one. 

Seeing Ann naked after a few short weeks of dating was probably one of them. 

He wasn’t making time for her, and she couldn’t understand his commitments. Both of them were right and wrong, and they both knew it. It’s why their last real attempt to fix their relationship was one of the biggest steps of them all: sex. It wasn’t romantic, but more of an attempt to fix their relationship after a screaming match in Shibuya. It was borderline animalistic, an attempt to get out all their frustrations with each other so they could move on and be okay again. 

But they couldn’t do it, no matter how hard they tried. There was no more ‘okay’ for them. Any conversation they had between the two of them would lead to arguing, and in some cases, one of them crying. Akira knew Ann’s behavior was unfortunately just; she had every reason to be angry at him for not making time for her. He didn’t have good excuses every time, and sometimes, he just felt like screaming, and even worse… she was often the target. 

He was toxic; unreasonably only blaming her when it was a two way street. But he only really knew it when Ann finally pulled the trigger on the relationship.  
Ann confessed her feelings for Shiho to him, admitting that she had hoped he’d change and maybe she could stay with him, but that never happened. So even though she still had some lingering feelings for him, she needed to try with Shiho. He understood, because why wouldn’t he support her? It would hurt him obviously, especially since he still really liked her, but it didn’t feel like that was it. After everything he had done to her, was that the reason why she finally had the courage to leave?

No, not when he looked back at his own disgusting behavior. He wasn’t the guy everyone saw him to be, always caring and understanding. It was what made him admirable to his friends, but he pushed her to the side too many times. Akira wouldn’t ask her for those details, but he figured it was a mutual understanding. Maybe one day he’d get the courage to ask her again about it and properly apologize for hurting her so much, instead of just letting time heal the wound since it was all the two of them could stomach right now. 

And… eventually the pain did pass. He wasn’t sure exactly what supported his improving emotional maturity. Whether it was hearing Ann excitedly gush to Makoto and Haru one day after going into a palace about Shiho, if time had been kind to him and took away some of the guilt, or if he had learned from his own mistakes.

He later found there was one specific way he knew it was passing. 

\--

Akira didn’t think much of Kasumi until he made a deal with her in late May. 

It was nice to talk with her, someone his age who wasn’t part of the Phantom Thieves, but still understood what it was like to be a misfit. He would hear rumors in the halls, about her status as an honor student, and her place as a gymnast on the team. Everyone seemed to think very highly of her, and yet - 

_“Who does Yoshizawa think she is?”_

_“Why doesn’t she have to do all this work?”_

_“She’s hot! Think I got a chance to score?”_

All things he heard about his friends, people he was used to having close bonds with… some more than others. Honestly, it was similar to things he heard about Ann. How she was being better treated than the other students because of her status among the teachers. The difference was when Kamoshida confessed, the gossip following and tormenting Ann died down. She could be a normal student, but Kasumi couldn’t. There was no specific adult tormenting her life. She was just dealt a shitty hand when she came to Shujin Academy, despite her many talents.

And yet, that’s exactly why he worked with her on their deal. 

It started out innocent. She taught him everything he needed to know about gymnastics, and he listened to her problems and gave her advice. It wasn’t anything complicated, and it surely helped them immensely in the metaverse. Kasumi was one of the most valuable confidants he had, and it’s why he would spend time with her whenever she called him.

Yeah, that was it. For gymnastics. 

Akira never noticed when Kasumi would ask repetitive questions, making him stay longer or explain something to her again. She would excitedly grab his arm whenever they were out. She confessed her frustrations with herself, things that he wouldn’t expect to hear from someone who was just a friend. It all went over his head at the time, especially with the Phantom Thieves and his budding relationship with Ann taking up his time. She was just another friendly person in his life, another face to the crowd. 

Then October 3rd came around, and things escalated. In a very different way than Akira could have ever predicted. Kasumi had her own persona, and he was in an unfamiliar palace. He fought side by side with her, watching her use blessed attacks as if she had been part of their team since the beginning. She was a complete natural, and if he hadn’t seen her awaken to her persona, he would have believed she was the dreaded black mask mentioned over the past few palace rulers. 

They fought in sync, and even Morgana would tease him about it later. But it didn’t matter, because she wasn’t interested in joining the Phantom Thieves. She had to fix herself, with her gymnastic scores slipping more and more. Was he the reason for it? Was it because they were spending time together and he distracted her? If he was, he needed to fix the problem and find a way to keep up their deal. 

But...why did he even care that much? 

Maybe it was because she would often come to him in the halls, a bright smile greeting him whenever they chatted. She would bring him food from time to time, her attempts at improving her own lackluster cooking skills with him as the victim. Or perhaps it was that he was lonely after the break up with Ann a few weeks later, the guilt of their failed relationship weighing heavily and Kasumi was a welcome distraction. He didn’t want for her to become a rebound - although if he felt like there was even the possibility. 

It would mean he had to have feelings for her. Romantic feelings. Lovey-dovey feelings he had for Ann mere months ago.

Feelings Akira didn’t really accept until she invited him to the jazz club one night after a rough time in Sae’s palace. She gave him that same smile that seemed to relax his nerves every time. When she swayed to the songs sung, she would raise her hands and her fingers would dance to follow the beat no matter how fast or slow. Anytime she laughed, it took years off his life added from constantly killing shadows in the metaverse. It was almost… magical. He couldn’t comprehend his emotions later that night, even asking Morgana to give him some space that night. 

So as he laid there, wide awake all night thinking of her, he came to the conclusion. Kasumi wasn’t just some rebound, someone who would take his mind off of Ann until he could get a grip on his own emotions. These feelings were genuine, authentic. And it scared him shitless. 

It meant taking things really slow, avoiding labels and public displays of affection until he felt comfortable doing so. The first time he kissed Ann was right after the confession. Here, there was none. They just started spending more time together, time he made sure to schedule out. He would respond to her messages, even if it was an inconvenience to him. She would understand whenever he needed time and space, especially with the Phantom Thieves’ recent drama taking up every news station in Japan. He was trying to fix everything that went wrong with Ann, making sure he could become a better man in the process.

Everything was slow, and concise, and honestly, well planned. Besides the inevitable social circle finding out. Thankfully the only people who directly approached him about it were Haru and Ryuji. He couldn’t blame Haru; despite some early blunders making her look like a stereotypical rich clueless girl, she was sharp; she paid very close attention to her friends. She seemed to know every detail not because she purposely looked for it, but because she paid far more attention and was able to connect dots in ways Akira wasn’t sure he could do with his friends all the time. But Ryuji, on the other hand, Akira couldn’t understand how he found out other than him seeing Kasumi bring him lunch one day and jumping to (right) conclusions.

That, or Ann had told him. 

\--

“Hello?”

“Akira? What’s up?” 

“Hey, Ann… I’m just gonna go straight to it. Look, I’m really sorry.” 

“For what?” 

“For everything that happened between us.”

“...What do you mean?”

“I was a horrible boyfriend to you. I put Phantom Thief stuff before you, and I took out all my frustrations on you. I was really toxic.” 

“...Yeah, you were. I couldn’t say it back then, but yeah you sucked.” 

“Well thanks for the honesty. I just didn’t want to potentially die-”

“You’re not going to die in Sae’s palace tomorrow, Akira -”

“I wanted to make sure you knew that I’m sorry for how I treated you. I don’t expect to get back with you, and honestly I don’t want to.”

“I don’t either. I really like Shiho, and everything just kinda clicked, you know?” 

“Yeah, I understand.”

“You say that like you have someone - oh my gosh Akira tell me!” 

“Look it’s nothing serious.” 

“You’re totally swooning. What’s her name? You know I’ll find out eventually.”

“...it’s Yoshizawa.” 

“Oh she’s cute. Wait, she’s that first year that brings you lunch sometimes? I think she’s been crushing on you way before we even started dating.” 

“What? How would you even know that?” 

“You’re a guy so you don’t get it, but the way that girl looked at you lets me know she had it bad. I didn’t really care too much about it when we were dating because as shitty as you were, I knew you’d never cheat on me.”

“Huh, I never noticed.” 

“And you never will! It’s like those movies, remember? The guy never catches the girl staring at him.” 

“Ha, that’s true. But seriously Ann, I just want to make sure we can both be real friends after this - if you want to, obviously. I don’t want to pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do... But I do want to be friends with you.” 

“Akira, we are friends. I don’t know if I would have broken up with you if you weren’t toxic, but I still would’ve had feelings for Shiho. As long as you promise me you won’t break that girl’s heart with the same stunts you pulled with me, we’re good.” 

“Oh for sure, I’ve been really trying because of what happened between us.” 

“Then that’s all I can ask for. Be a better guy after everything.”

“Thanks Ann.”

“No problem, Akira.” 

“But if we’re back to being real friends again, can we watch bad romcom movies again? It was fun pointing out all the dumb stuff about them with you.” 

“Ugh, you have no idea how many movies I put on a backlog because I didn’t have someone to watch with them. Shiho actually likes those kinds of movies, which is fine, but I’m not gonna make fun of them with her.” 

“So if I make it out alive-”

“WHEN you make it out alive -”

“...Movie night?” 

“You got it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This a bit different from what I normally write? In the sense that the happy ending is bittersweet. I knew I wanted to write something on this group as I was writing my other stories, but it took a while for me to formally get my thoughts together. 
> 
> But this kind of came one sitting of me listening to a fan song created by Ode Imagination on repeat. I listen to this channel a lot when writing my persona fanfics. Link below if you're interested, it's a beautiful song ~~(but spoilers in the comments for Royal content)~~  
>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aajtwTTshGM&ab_channel=OdeImaginations


End file.
